Claiming the promises of Christ

As stated in a previous post, I have always had a big problem with anxiety. I worry about things quite a lot. I try to pretend like I dont, but I really do. There have been times in my past when I even made myself sick literally.

After delving into my anxiety I realized long ago that it is simply a lack of faith. Anxiety has a wonderful/horrible way of clearly showing us where our faith is lacking. When I stop and think about whatever I am anxious about it become obvious to me exactly what I dont believe about Christ. What promise do I doubt?

Point in fact, I struggle big time with believing that Jesus is enough for me. Psalms 16:11 states that, “In His presence is fullness of joy and in His right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Everyday I struggle to believe this. After my life battles while living in the Middle East I realize how far I really am from trusting in that promise.

Recently I have gained a tremendous asset in this battle. It is not a new weapon. In fact it is very obvious in scripture. However, I dont think I have ever really used it before.

Let me explain. This week I was spending some time with a person that is very gifted in discussing these things. After a long talk she mentioned that I really need to learn to claim the promises of Christ. I thought, “Ummm…..what do you mean? I know we are to claim the promises. I do that already.” I even know Hebrews 4:16,

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need

Apparently she knew what I was thinking and said, “verbally.” She went on to explain that I needed to say the basis for the promise, the statement of the promise (generally at least), and what struggle specifically that it shattered out loud. After a couple minutes in prayer I attempted to do this. It was so hard!!!! (and awkward to be honest)

Afterward, she smiled and said that I had not done what she asked. I knew she was right, but for some reason I could not form the words. It was at that moment that I realized that my prayers in that past have tended to be shallow, nonspecific, noncommittal, and I almost never base the promise on its foundation.

So, we talked through it, and finally we got to this,

“By the blood of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, I claim the promise that you are enough for my satisfaction and happiness against feelings of a lack of satisfaction in you. Psalms 16:11 says, “In Your presence is fullness of joy and in Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. I claim this promise as a child of God.”

I said this verbally. I immediately recognized that there was power in my words. This wasnt because I said them, but simply because they were truth. There is an amazing power behind verbally claiming truth.

She then went on to tell me that I needed to practice this. It is like exercising in a sense. We need reps to build it up.

I dont think my struggle is over. I do, however, think I just entered into the battle with a new extremely powerful weapon.

Christian service, environmental science, and a burp that wouldn’t burp part 1.

 Part 1. A Burp that wouldn’t burp

The last two weeks of my life have really sucked and yet…well, they have been awesome at the same time. It seems like life is usually like that. We get the ups and we get the downs, but somehow the ups seem to be connected more with their downs than with other ups and the downs seem to be one the causes of the ups rather than the absence of ups. Got that?

I have had really good times with the Lord this week though, and the reason is because I have been brought to my knees. I have always struggled with anxiety you see, and these past two weeks have been a real knock down brawl street fight biting scratching spiting thing.

It started out with something I tried the Monday before last that kicked my butt. I woke up at like 3:00 in the morning the next day worrying like crazy. It didn’t even make sense type of worry. It was totally irrational. I talked to several people and they were like, “Dude that totally doesn’t make any sense.” Ok, maybe they didn’t say dude in real life, but they do in my memory. I knew it didn’t, but I couldn’t convince myself to let it go. It was there always…like a burp that wont burp. It just stays in your chest. Making you feel motion sick.

After a few days of feeling like total crap my roommate, Chris, pointed out to me in 2 Corinthians the difference between Godly sorrow and worldly sorrow. My sorrow fell completely under the description of worldly sorrow. Then, I was able to talk to my college pastor about it. He actually struggled to understand what I was saying. I bet he has heard like 500 whiny college students explain their struggles. He has known me since 2001, and he still struggled to understand me. What does that tell you?

I guess that is how it is when you struggle with anxiety. It is yours and no one else’s. You own it. You selfishly take it and nurture it until it is a full blown anxiety. My college pastor did figure it out (Actually I already knew all about it, but I needed somebody I trusted to say the same thing before I explained it), and he pointed out the parts that were legitimate fears that I could take to Christ and the parts that had gotten jumbled in with the rest. He pointed out that the enemy likes to keep things jumbled, general, and fear filled whereas Christ brings clarity, specificity, and hope.

That night I prayed before I went to bed that Christ would protect me from my daily ritual of waking up at 3:00 AM and sitting in bed worrying for 3 hours until it was time for school. Well, I still woke up, but I immediately opened up my bible and started having my quiet time with the Lord. He then took me to this passage. Check it out.

Tremble, and do not sin;

Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still.

Selah. 

Offer the sacrifices of righteousness,

And trust in the LORD.

Many are saying, “Who will show us good?”

Lift up the light of Your countenance upon us, O LORD! 

You have put gladness in my heart,

More than when their grain and new wine abound. 

In peace I will both lie down and sleep,

For You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety.

Psalm 4: 4-8

Wow, that had to be one of the most obvious answers to prayer I have ever experienced! I mean seriously…tremble…but don’t sin. I was trembling. Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Where do you think I was sitting? In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. For the rest of this week I have gotten up early to have my time with the Lord. I still struggle with anxietal residue, but I am learning that I need the Lord every single day. He gives peace freely. Just ask.

Part 2, “Serving Others” coming soon.